Monday, July 21, 2008
FLYING SPAGETTI MONSTER - The Interview
THIS PIECE OF CREATIVE WRITING WAS JUST FOR THE FUN OF BEING CREATIVE.
IT MAY OR MAY NOT MAKE A POINT…
…BUT IT MIGHT AT LEAST PROVOKE A CHUCKLE IF NOTHING ELSE.
My Interview with the “Flying Spaghetti Monster”
By Vic Tishous - Staff Reporter - Nonexistent Realities Magazine
In recent times many Atheists and others wishing to disprove the existence of God ( for whatever odd reason this benefits anyone) have made mention of a beast known as “The Flying Spaghetti Monster”.
The argument goes that when presented with the idea that God cannot be either proven or disproved that this character somehow answers magically the argument by suggesting that one cannot prove or disprove that this creature exists or does not exist either.
After scouting many caves, Italian restaurants and psychiatric wards I was finally able to track down this rather shy and elusive anomaly. He agreed to be interviewed and the following took place in his home located in the Nation of Imaga .
VIC: “Thank you for meeting with me today.”
FSM: “You’re welcome… are you hungry? Here, have a piece of my …”
VIC: “Um, no.. I ate before I came.. Thank You!”
FSM: “No Problem.”
VIC: “Anyway, let me get right to the point of my interview. Atheists and others trying to disprove God have been spending a great deal of time pointing to you… So, do you exist or not?”
VIC: “Do you exist? … Yes or No?”
FSM: “I’m not sure I understand the question.”
VIC: “Come on now Mr. Spaghetti Monster…”
FSM: “Pasta… My name is Pasta!
VIC: “Um.. OK.. Pasta, Do you exist?”
FSM: “I don’t actually Fly either.”
VIC: “That’s not what I asked”
FSM: “and I am not a monster… I’m actually pretty nice once you eat me.”
VIC: “O.K…O.K…Stop hedging… You are obviously evading my question.”
FSM: “Not evading… clarifying!”
FSM: “Well of course… You have to clarify before you can answer a question like that.”
VIC: “What are you talking about???”
FSM: “Well you asked if I, being ‘Pasta” , exist right?”
FSM: “Well then the answer is … I am here aren’t I?”
VIC: “Are we in the same conversation?”
FSM: “Do you believe in God?”
VIC: “Wait… That’s irrelevant… I am the one doing this interview…”
FSM: “Do you exist?”
VIC: “Of course I do… see I am here.. Now how about you?
FSM: “Prove it!”
VIC: “Prove what?”
FSM: “Prove anything exists… You, Me, God, Anything.”
VIC: “What in the…”
FSM: “Can’t do it, can you?”
VIC: “I’m lost… Just stop for a moment and answer me this… Does Pasta Exist?”
FSM: “Of course it does… you can buy it at any supermarket.”
VIC: “Arrrgggghhhhh… I mean DO ‘YOU’, ‘PASTA’ THE FLYING SPAGETTI MONSTER EXIST???”
FSM: “I told you I can’t fly and I’m not a mon…”
VIC: “I am done! This interview is over! You solved nothing for me! You, sir are an $%^^$#$&&!!!”
FSM: “You need a chill pill.. I’m headed for Church anyway… I’ll pray to God you get what it is you seek.”
So, I never did get my answer… But then I guess I really don’t exist either… I’m just the creative imagination of another writer who does…
… Hey, wait… Perhaps I found my answer after all for if you think about it the very fact that the “flying Spaghetti Monster” exists in the minds and creative intellect of those who mention him as an excuse for disbelief. It means, by some sort of odd twisted logic, that he DOES exist in at least the creative sense. He has a web-site and many do refer to his name… hmmm?, Maybe what we think about we indeed bring about.
Oh well, I’ll leave this all up to the Creator God to figure out… I mean something had to make a brain capable of creating a flying spaghetti monster. ..
…At least that’s what I choose to believe!
MORAL: PROVING GOD IS NOT IMPORTANT… BELIEVING IN GOD IS…FORGET PASTA AND GIVE ME A BIG HELPING OF GOD!
BE LOVE & BE LOVED!